111026

Joke of the Day

"What's Harambe's favourite retail store? Target"

"Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication."

"What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef"

"Did you hear about the obscenely hard gardening class required for botany majors? It was said to be a weed out class"

"Arron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without parole. I'm not quite sure how much longer he is going to remain a ""tight end"""

"I wish this cop would stop riding my ass, it makes me paranoid. I also wish he'd turn his sirens off and stop trying to shoot out my tires."

"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."

"Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors? So they can park in handicap spots."

"A man is praying to God because his son is a stripper. God replies, you think you've got it bad, my son thinks he's a doctor."

"People ask me why I don't like spoons. Idk why really. They just seem pointless to me."