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Joke of the Day

"Excuse, where is the opposite sidewalk? Right there (points). -Can't be, right there they told me it was here."

"What do you call a porn site for celeb lookalikes? Doppelbangers"

"Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!"

"Earlier I joked that Toronto was the capital of Canada. ""Joked"" being the operative word. Everyone knows only real countries have capitals."

"A man enters a pun contest... He writes down 10 puns and puts them into a hat thinking at least one of them would win. Sadly, no pun in 10 did."

"Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down."

"Why Tom Hiddleston wasn't in age of ultron. Maybe Tom Hiddleston wasn't in age of ultron cause he's trying to stay low key."

"My friend told me all women are the same. He always makes broad generalizations."

"Your only chance of getting laid... is to crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"Me and my son don't always see eye to eye because we both wear glasses."