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Joke of the Day

"Did you heard Steve Jobs died? He went to the iCloud. (RIP Steve. You may disagree with him, but the fact the man died is tragic considering his contributions to computing.)"

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"I owe a lot of money to a couple people you don't want to owe money to.... ... the winners of my fantasy football league"
"how to you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? you wave at her."
"A car dealership twice the size... ...can offer a whole lot more."
"Why was the dolphin depressed? He felt he had no porpoise in life"
"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it"
"Free sex tonight I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""
"I need hug(e amount of money)."
"I have a big business on kids and murders. They all love my ferrets."
"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."