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Joke of the Day

"Jesus loves me, but I told him that I could never date a pool boy."

"Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass."

"I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan..."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""give me a beer and a mop."""

"If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would we have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"Why did Frodo set his phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away."

"My friend called and said, "" on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole "". I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado."

"The first judge ever was like ""When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer"" and we were all ""Ok that's not insane"""

"Santorum pulls out after repeatedly coming in number two"

"When CNN says they're ""breaking news"" they are, in a sense, right."