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Joke of the Day

"if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of ""ice, ice, baby."""

"Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn't know who it was from."

"""Stop peopling around"" - horses?"

"How to shave a cat's butt I won't tell you, you dirty person !"

"Why is rotten egg the best comedian? He's got a funny yolk."

"You thought the co-workers on your floor are happy That guy coming out of the elevator is on a whole other level"

"What is Michal Jackson A Chocolate Cracker (if they exist)"

"Doctor: We need to double your meds Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster? Doctor: We need to triple your meds"

"I'll never read pride & prejudice I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me"

"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"