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Joke of the Day

"What did one buttcheck say to the other buttcheck? After all the shit that has been between us, we will never be apart."

"If Mcdonald's served hotdogs You could ask them to upsize your McWiener"

"I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them. They seemed to either love them or hate them."

"A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption."

"What did earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!"

"I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over."

"If you want to hear an elderly couple arguing for 2 hrs about whether they closed their garage door, go to a movie at 11AM on a weekday."

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"

"""It behooves you."" -Inventor of the horseshoe, explaining to a dubious horse."