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Joke of the Day

"How did Reggie Rocket's brother die? Otto Erocket Asphyxiation"

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people."

"You know how sometimes... You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist."

"I just ate a frozen apple! Hardcore."

"The difference between dead babies and vegetables? I don't eat my vegetables."

"*on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh"

"Still haven't found the manly way to walk across ice."

"Progeria jokes get old real quick."

"Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area."

"Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that."