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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between England and an egg cup? An egg can stay in the cup longer"
Next Joke
"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""
"My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time."
"Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?"
"A travelling salesman gets into a self driving car. ""Oh shit"" says the car"
"Before I go into a job interview, I always dump Gatorade over my head so everyone knows I'm a winner."
"Teachers call it ""Going to the bathroom"". We call it ""I'm bored, I'm gonna go wander around school."""
"He just gave me his last bit of bacon. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. It was a proposal right?"
"Studies show people who carry tactical knives with flashlights are less confident guessers. They never take a stab in the dark."
"What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment? ma'lady"