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Joke of the Day

"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One...but it takes him 27 tries"

"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? greg."

"Boss: Staff meeting at 3:00. Me: I can't come, I'm allergic. Boss: But we're not serving food. Me: ... yeah now I really can't come."

"What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !"

"Goldilocks taught me that you can get away with breaking into a brown family's home and stealing their food, as long as you're a white girl."

"How to make your wife take care while driving? Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age."

"What has four legs but isn't alive? A Dead Dog"

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull."