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Joke of the Day

"The doctors were concerned... ..about my headaches, so they sent me for a brain scan. They found nothing. Still concerned, they gave me an IQ test. The results were negative."

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when hit multiple times with an axe"

"Can you take a bath if you have diarrhea? Yes, if you have enough."

"Try The New McDonaldsTM Double Bacon Something Whatever I Don't Know Anymore But You're Gonna Eat It Anyways You Fat Piece Of Shit"

"Why does the Egyptian god Ra own every Periodic Table? Because his name is on them."

"Avenge me but only if it's convenient."

"I left work in slow motion but it didn't blow up behind me. This is bullshit."

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The cock came first."

"Who's the world most famous blacksmith? Will Smith"

"TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub"