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Joke of the Day

"An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes."

"I'm living on the edge. I haven't backed up in weeks"

"What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag."

"Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor"

"I've only heard the setup for this joke, anybody know the rest? A Jew and a Pollock are in a rainstorm... That's all I know and I've been dying to find out the rest. Anybody have any ideas?"

"I went to a fancy restaurant last night and a man was complaining about his escargot. The waiter just shrugged it off. ""I'm sorry sir,"" the waiter told him. ""All snails are final."""

"Why is it better to hire fifty $20 hookers rather than a single $1000 escort? More poorgasms"

"Why didn't The Cold War happen? Russia kept Stalin it"

"""Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"" ""you mean cheese?"" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] ""that does make more sense actually"""

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race."