109545

Joke of the Day

"St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers. That's how they survive the winters."

"What happened to the embarrassed bungalow on the street of two story houses? It got stares."

"When it comes to my diet, I don't do cheat days I do cheat years."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury."

"Just finished the 5th book... In the 'Learning to count' trilogy"

"I kept unwrapping my present and it was the lamest gift ever. A cardboard tube."

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor."

"My ""Sleep Number"" is vodka."

"How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there"