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Joke of the Day

"St. Bernards are dogs living in the Swiss Alps who search for lost travellers, skiers and mountaineers. That's how they survive the winters."

Next Joke
 
"I came into some money yesterday. I couldn't find the tissues."
"""I see,"" said the blind man, pissing into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""
"a contractor is just a regular tractor that rips people off"
"Lazy assholes.. They just don't give a shit."
"A ninja's wife comes home to find her husband dead and exclaims... ...""no ninja no ninja no!"""
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless you have muscular dystrophy, in which case you most certainly will not."
"Wife: Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back? Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say"
"Q: What is Mozart doing right now? A: Decomposing."
"My mum at night: Good night, sweet dreams I love you. My mum in the morning: Wake the fuck up you lazy piece of shit."