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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bear and the Bears football team? Nothing, they both shit in the woods."

"How many social justice activists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything lol"

"Back away slowly from the uncaffeinated woman."

"A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die."

"Saw a guy in the gym, ahead of me on the Lat pulldown machine, wearing a David Luiz T-Shirt Needless to say, I got past him."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breath through something so small?"""

"3 y/o: I want a bagel Me: We don't have any 3 y/o: You're a idiot Me: How did you survive your abortion"

"I quietly left my job as a set designer... I didn't want to make a scene."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint."

"The TV's airing the same pressure cooker ad over and over again. It's Torr-turous."