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Joke of the Day

"[I open my lunchbox to find pair of wife's underwear] But that means... [Cut to my wife opening her lunchbox to find a pair of my underwear]"

"How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting? Talk in your sleep."

"Someone wake up that guy from Green Day."

"Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here"

"What i if told you You that read wrong And that probably too"

"My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired."

"During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name."

"Funny joke! What is Charlie sheens middle name? Washingma CHARLIE WASHINGMA SHEEN"

"Camo is proper for any occasion. It's good for drinkin' beers, huntin' deers and scarin' queers. Merica."

"Anyone wanna buy any budgies? I've got two round the house going cheep!"