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Joke of the Day
"A man comes into a bar... Wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse."
Next Joke
"Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange."
"I would never give you a death sentence. It would be more like a paragraph."
"Driving down the highway and on the side of the road I see a preist fucking a goat! I yell out 'hey, wrong kid!'"
"What is the difference between sex and fear? Zwei."
"I put methanol in the punch bowl... ...and now I can't find the punch line."
"I would rate my skill at psychic abilitys... medium."
"What do men do after orgasm? 1% Do it again 1% Go Smoking 1% Fall Asleep 97% Clear History EDIT: Punctuation"
"A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""
"So I heard they've leaked the working title of the Reeva Steenkamp biography... ""I'd rather die standing than live on my knees."""