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Joke of the Day

"Holiday typo: ""give my beast to your lovely wife!"""

"My girlfriend left because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry... I'll return."

"A small agency has opened in the UK to sell potential extremists to ISIS. Not surprisingly, business is booming."

"Why did the PI detective cross the road? He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns."

"The Voice Coach Voice Coach: ""Let's start with a scale."" Student: ""Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"" Voice Coach: ""Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"""

"I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work."

"Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says ""Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson"""

"Sorry I rubbed your belly for good luck, wealth and prosperity."

"Power surge at the A/C factory... Fans shocked."