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Joke of the Day

"My Weed dealer needed to do his laundry So I sold him a dime bag of quarters, but I cut it with some canadian shit."

"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."

"[NSFW] What's the worst thing about...? ....getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger. *Yet another Australian pub joke*"

"I don't have a penis April Fools"

"What did Santa say when he went to a brothel? Hoe hoe hoe!"

"How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? They had reservations."

"Really? Wow! (The only two things I ever say to kids)"

"Don't be that guy that goes around saying ""Don't Be That Guy."""

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Crash Test Barbie ...comes with car and brick wall"