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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick!"

"Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me."

"Hey Guys! Wouldn't it be crazy if Friday the 13th was on Halloween! I tricked too many people with that..."

"Fat Chicks Are Like Scooters... They're Really Fun To Ride Until Your Friends Find Out"

"Vampire who is obsessed with his diet. -Count Calories"

"Why are there no hand paintings from the old west? Because they could only draw guns."

"[airport] ""you should have used a tag"" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS"

"Wanna hear a secret? I KILLED MUFASA!"

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!"

"Women are just like computers... They are always freezing for no reason and you need to replace them about every 3-5 years."