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Joke of the Day

"""And why do you want to work at the aquarium?"" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish"

Next Joke
 
"I found out today it's OK to date a nun.... You just can't get in the habit!"
"Just hugged a sycamore tree before kissing an oak tree. I'm having a treesome lol"
"How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? tenants."
"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Response: I don't know, I'm no scientist."
"How's it going? ""I'm so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now"" You're supposed to say 'fine' & ask how I am. Bye."
"Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts."
"Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog ""NO!"" and then more quietly, ""We talked about this!"""
"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are 99 cents, deer nuts are just under a buck !"
"*notices girl singing song that's on in coffee shop* Me: You're a Cher fan too!? Her: Hold on *takes off bluetooth* Her: What? *dies alone*"