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Joke of the Day

"I think it would be great if ice cream licked you back."

"My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender."

"Why was Moses' wife angry? He gave her the burning bush."

"There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home"

"Thumb war is never the thumb answer."

"[OC] Time heals all wounds.. Unless you re a haemophiliac."

"Don't go around telling people what Teresa Ripoll is an anagram of before they've solved it. Spoiler alert"

"I don't understand why people say they don't believe in sex before marriage... It's obviously sex after marriage that doesn't exist."

"What is Hodor's favorite cereal? Raisin Bran."

"Asians are so bad at driving... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was just an accident."