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Joke of the Day

"You know those couples who are into butt stuff from time to time? It's only occas-anal."

"At Toys ""R"" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children's store."

"According to my Fitbit I've masturbated 4 miles today"

"What Bible verse keeps every student going? Lunch 11:35."

"Flight Attendant: ""Here is the extra blanket you asked for."" Me: ""Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"""

"Being eaten by zombies sounds less painful than running away from zombies."

"I want to marry a girl from Prague I'll have a Czech mate"

"Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in."

"As Newton once said, ""For every male action, there is a female over-reaction""."

"Need help with kids I am at dinner for mothers day and striking out with the jokes. Reddit brothers and sisters I need your kid appropriate jokes. HELP!"