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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Jelly and Jam? You can't jelly your cock down your girlfriend's throat."

"How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the *Mainstream*"

"Because you crave something doesn't mean it's good for you. Every time my husband opens his mouth about politics I crave instant death."

"Two years ago, my favourite cow died Today, I finally moooved on."

"I am giving up a few negative people for lent. So, if you call, text, Facebook or email and I don't get to back to you?? Odds are it was you."

"Why does it go from Windows 8 to 10? Because Windows 7 8 9"

"What do you call a body builder? Jim."

"Me: Who could that be? It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock? Me: It depends on how they were raised..."

"How many brits are needed to change a light bulb None they just terminate their apartment contract."

"i think when there's a new viral thing and instead of checking it out you're like ""eh who cares i bet it's dumb"" that's Internet Adulthood"