106263

Joke of the Day

"""You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower."" ""Really? Which rat was he?"""

"Just accidentally used ""then"" instead of ""than"" and now I know what it feels like to be imperfect! Weird!"

"I just don't get it...My wife's friends come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the ""why aren't you wearing pants"" look."

"They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel 52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility"

"Did you hear about the teacher who had eye problems? She couldn't control her pupils."

"Why did god make homosexuality a sin? Because His boyfriend thought that would make it hotter."

"What do dwarves and hipsters have in common? (just made this joke up, help me if I can word it better) They're underground, and it's hard to tell males from females. or something like that =)"

"Boss, I can't come in today. Got a bad case of- *puts hand over phone* -what was it again? Daughter: Boogeritis. *to phone* It's Boogeritis."

"I asked my girlfriend why she always laughs after sex She says, it's an inside joke."

"What do you call a Mexican that lost his car? Carlos"