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Joke of the Day

"Job interview Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness? Me: I'm brutally honest. Interviewer: I don't think it's a weakness at all. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."

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"Sleeping with me is a lot like sleeping with a stuffed animal. But that's only after I've eaten Mexican food."
"What's it called when you have sex early in the day after a funeral? Mourning Sex."
"What is a mixture of Hulk and Captain America called? Star-Spangled Banner."
"""Oh no. This sucks. I'm gonna put it in a movie."" - hundreds of directors while watching 9/11, apparently"
"R Kelly taking the art out of rap artist."
"In Amsterdam you could watch live sex shows by paying 50 Euros. That's nothing - In India, I watched a live rape just by buying a bus ticket."
"Is your body from McDonalds? Why because you are loving it.... No ...because its fat and greasy."
"Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up."
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."