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Joke of the Day

"If my pizza delivery guy isn't blasting Lionel Richie's ""Hello"" from his car when he rings my doorbell, I make him go back and start over."

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"The United States government."
"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."
"What's a closeted Isis fighter's favourite occasion during the year? ram a man"
"What does Donald Trump's hair get at the end of each day? [removed]"
"What do you call it when a Sith goes to a Galleria? Darth Mall."
"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit into his spaceship."
"1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean nasty ugly smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !"
"What's a ducks favourite snack? Quackers! **EDIT: Spelling**"
"My friend left his laptap on the floor in my living room. My other friend thought it was a scale. Conclusion: She weighs $950."