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Joke of the Day
"Whats hard, black, and keeps me up all night? My Roku."
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"[posing for mugshot] ""now turn forward"" [flash] lemme see"
"*gets to front of unemployment line* yes I'd like to be unemployed"
"You wanna take this outside bro? You sure bro? It's awfully chilly bro. Hold on bro, let me grab my scarf."
"What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a roof!"
"What's the name of the virus that causes AIDS? ... Are you positive?"
"Wife: Hit the light. *flicks switch (wrong light) *flicks another (fan) *flicks (disposer) *flicks (nothing) *flicks (some light in Canada)"
"When Ted Cruz kisses a baby, its parents have to throw it out and start over."
"How many blacks does it take to screw in a light blulb? Three Fifths"
"My colleague was fired for stealing printer cartridges He was caught magenta handed."