10534

Joke of the Day

"It is said that Bill Gates once farted in an Apple store which stank up the entire place. But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows."

"My son can go from ""omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!"" To ""you're the best mom ever"" in a matter of $100"

"'Cracker' is racist. They should be called Crispy Baked Squares."

"What did the spider say when he broke his new web ? Darn it !"

"Veterinarian- You're here to discuss your dog's salivation? Me- No. My dog's a good dog, he'll go to Heaven! I'm here about his slobbering."

"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."

"They advertise unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. But I can personally attest that after 9 days Olive Garden asks you to leave."

"if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world"

"They're relea$ing two $eparate film$ ba$ed on the 3rd book in the'Hunger Game$' trilogy. I'm $hocked. Totally $urpri$ing."

"Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*"