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Joke of the Day

"Oh you're upset about a thing? Allow me to remind you that there are other, more upsetting things. Somehow I think this should help you"

"There's a disease going around called these hands. You about to catch it."

"What is the meaning of life? A movie. Told to me by Siri. Pissed myself."

"My son's favorite toy is the free blood pressure machine at Walgreens."

"What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."

"you can pretend to be a tortured artist for like ages before people check if you really do art or not"

"What language does a patio speak? Porch-uguese"

"A procrastinator's work is never done."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"Massive US Blizzard advancing North African American community complains about exclusion of black snowflakes."