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Joke of the Day

"What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? ""Where's Popcorn?"""

"What's the difference between three penises and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Happy 420 to me, Happy 420 to me, Its not 4/20 anymore, But fuck it, Its 420 to me!"

"Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually."

"The doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia"

"Why did the cow get an award? For being outstanding in his field. Sorry."

"I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night... So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt."

"FDR said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" He should have said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself and polio."""

"Why did the ska guitarist take twice as long to fap? He only knows up strokes"

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."