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Joke of the Day

"My mates called me stingy so I decided to buy them a beer. Turns out they wanted one each."

"9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%."

"In ""Captain Sully"", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River That was falling with style"

"What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."""

"What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree? Poll tree!"

"I can't believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment"

"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Jeffrey Dahmer!"

"Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I've been one for 30 some years now."

"what do cats and menstruating girls have in common? Both on the rag"

"As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas... Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck? Because they have cotton balls. Apologies if it's a repost."