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Joke of the Day

"A ball boy has been sacked from the world cup after saying to Wayne Rooney, ""You can fuck off if you think I'm going looking for that one. """

Next Joke
 
"A wino wanted to join the Black lives matter movement He ended up sobbing ""Can't we all just get along?"" at a Dark matter symposium."
"I remember 2016 Like it was yesterday"
"Me: when I grow up I'm going to be an astronaut. 5 year old daughter: you're already grown up. You'll be dead soon."
"[opens fortune cookie] be careful what you wish for [opens another] this is your final warning"
"I have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton's arrest. [deleted]"
"I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway."
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has its pricks on the outside."
"epileptic with a sword What do you get when an epileptic person fights an iceberg with a sword? Seizure Salad"
"Whenever I'm getting off a plane I like to go up to the pilot, lean in really close and whisper ""I had my phone on that whole time."""