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Joke of the Day

"Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school"

"Spell anaesthetize! Harry was sad when reddit was unaffected."

"When a transgender goes missing.. You put their photo on a carton of Half and Half."

"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."

"[lawyer whispers to plaintiff] two can play this game ""Your honor. Upsexy."" Judge: what's upsexy? ""that's harassment. move to change venues"""

"A mushroom walks into a bar The bartender says: ""Get out of here! We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says: ""Why not man? I really am a FunGi."""

"Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in ""Damn it, c'mon, not again!"" he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge"

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding."

"A democrat, a libertarian and an idiot walk into a bar.. ""I'll have a beer please"", says the republican."

"90% of her body A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."