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Joke of the Day

"Here's a Metallica joke for you. St. Anger."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave."

"Did you hear about the magician who became a farmer? ...he was driving his tractor down the road, and suddenly, he turned into a field."

"You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed."

"I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said ""living the dream."" I told him, hey good to hear. Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder."

"Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'"

"What do you say after you read a book? reddit!"

"Why do girls always go in threes when using the restroom? Because they can't even."

"Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm."

"My cousin had his hand amputated in a tragic accident. Luckily, he was able to find a replacement at a second hand store."