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Joke of the Day

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth then it becomes a soap opera"

"You can't spell ""secret government conspiracies"" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us"

"Which bees produce milk? The boo-bees!"

"Doc Says: I got bad news and worst news... The test show that you have alzheimer's and Cancer.. Patient: well at least I don't have Cancer..."

"What did Snow White say to Pinocchio after she sat on his face? ""Lie to me, bitch!"""

"Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading."

"WAITER: Your honor, when I said ""enjoy your meal"" he said ""you too"" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too"

"How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there."

"Tried to go for anal with my gf without talking about it She says, ""that's a dick move"""

"breakfast in bed? babe I thought you said brofest in bed. *gestures at chad and brad to leave* *whispers* we can still play frisbee later."