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Joke of the Day
"WIFE: You overreact to everything! ME: [phones police]"
Next Joke
"What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear"
"My driving teacher asked me where the gas is. Second door on the right."
"You guys hear about the pepper shaker that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested and charged with aggravated as-*salt*"
"If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. To be read: *seven ate nine*"
"Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!"
"When I see my cat staring out the window, I sit behind him and whisper, ""Look, Simba, Everything the light touches is our kingdom""."
"I spent a long time hitting on a lesbian girl... ...until she said: ""Okay, I'm gonna be straight with you."""
"Why don't vikings send e-mails? They prefer to use Norse code."