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Joke of the Day

"Budweiser should spend less on advertising and more on making their beer not taste like skunk butthole."

"Remember when there was nothing to check and no device to check it on and all you did was live your life?"

"I never touch baby carrots because I'm afraid the mother will reject them."

"ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone"

"When jokes go to parties, where do they wait for drinks? In the punchlines."

"My new favorite sex position... Is called the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"My relationship is complex part real, part imaginary."

"What kind of shoes to frogs like ? Open toad sandals !"

"my son wont get past his bridge troll phase. its a phase all children have, where they live under a bridge and rob people with a gun"

"Women.... Women are like condoms, they spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick."