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Joke of the Day
"Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? Cause you're fucking annoying."
Next Joke
"A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, ""Dry?"" The German replies, ""Nein, just one."""
"Is it wrecked or love My cell was 14 % and my gf cell was 97 % she put out my cell from charging and kept her cell and start playing temple run on my cell..."
"What is the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm!"
"I lost two things today. My virginity... ...and my job at the morgue."
"HR and I apparently disagree on what ""debriefed"" means."
"My wife said she wants to be treated like gold on her birthday. Apparently, locking her in the safe wasn't what she had in mind."
"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick Especially since his name is Steve"
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"What is 6.9? A good time ruined by a period."