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Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend calls me Gluteal Myalgia because he thinks I'm too dumb to understand what it means. Let's see how he likes the name Microphallus"

"So apparently there's a team of refugees at the olympics this year. Do you reckon the Syrian refugees are on the rowing team?"

"My friend has a job coming up with bathroom humor He just writes a lot of shitty puns."

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message"

"Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, ""If I'm alive by then,"" and hang up."

"I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays. ""Mostly just piano,"" he replied, ""but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little organ."""

"We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played."

"I kept trying to think of puns about the eye during my biology lesson, when we dissected one. To be honest, they kept getting cornea and cornea...."

"Linguistic studies have shown results about drivers of east asian cars... It is proven that a large number of Hyundai owners have an accent."

"Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner."