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Joke of the Day

"I recently participated in an erection contest. Unfortunately I didn't do so well. Let's just say there was some stiff competition."

"What book does a gay horse read? 50 Shades of HaaAAaaayyy."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off. Well, you can't blame them. They don't make much money, they just keep the tips."

"There's a very thin line between having your foot out of the covers enough to stay cool but not enough so it gets eaten by monsters."

"Leonardo: Let's go rescue April!! Donatello: Let's do it! Raphael: Bodacious!! Michelangelo: Totally!! Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this"

"Where does Optimus Prime go for cosmetic repairs? To the autobotty shop!"

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"

"What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke? Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there? 911. 911 who? You said you'd never forget"

"A cicada crawled up my butt while I was sleeping last night. I'm not worried though. It'll come out in 13 years."

"So many Irish twins being born these days the numbers just keep Dublin up."