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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says ""We don't sever your kind"". The mushroom says ""Why not, I'm a fun guy""."

"*Filling out application* Sex: ""no thanks"" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex."

"I'm at a bar in the United States and there's still a lot of white people who are way too confident with their dancing abilities."

"What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants."

"Vodka and I go together like falling down the stairs and getting fucked in my sleep."

"Steve Jobs What do cancer cells do when they get bored? they get jobs"

"What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful? A cheap pansy"

"If you have three tuna and take away one half, what do you have? Two 'n' a half -OR- tuna half."

"How is Batman different from a black man? Batman can go in a store without Robin."

"Does saying ""No Nigerian scammers"" in your ad really deter Nigerian scammers from scamming you Nigeriously?"