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Joke of the Day

"Usually when I try to be slick and say ""keep the change,"" the money I've handed over doesn't cover what I'm trying to purchase"

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"Donald Trump's dick is so shriveled and emaciated,... Obama called in drone strikes on it."
"What do you call a silly, apathetic German boy? Agoofaloofagus"
"*doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don't stand for national anthem*"
"How many amoebae does it take to change a lightbulb one no, two no, four eight, 16, 32...."
"I'm getting tired of all the Turkey news Turkey didn't need the Recep and frankly I don't either."
"Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic."
"What do you call a jewish man? By his name"
"what do you say to a puking prostitute? Heave-ho!"
"I lost 100 pounds... and I only got half an hour. London chicks are pricy as hell."