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Joke of the Day

"*puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen ""Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?"" *Im in the bushes giggling*"

"Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust."

"Police are on the look out for a Midget Fortuneteller... He is described as a Small Medium at Large."

"A new study finds that chicken isn't as healthy for you as once thought. ""Just don't ask to see our data"" clucked one feathered researcher."

"What's the difference between a stripper and a hooker? Usually about $40"

"Sing like no one is listening. Dance like you need to be shot with a tranquilizer dart."

"What do you call an ion that also raps? Fluoride, duh."

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't!"

"I won my first cage fight last night... Fucking Parrot didn't know what hit it."

"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."