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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a prisoner who's psychic,has dwarfism and escaped the prison? A small medium at large!"

"Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation"

"i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it"

"What's the difference between Hitler and a bowl of soup? A lot of things, can you really not tell the difference?"

"My Jr High teacher makes me have sex with her while her husband watches, but that's not the worst part. ....I'm homeschooled."

"A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet. It's between Urpenis and Urvagina."

"How is a chicken like a grape? They're both purple except for the chicken."

"I saw a bunch of youths hitting an old lady. I stopped my car, wound down my window and yelled, ""Excuse me, that's my mother-in-law."" ""And what?"" they replied. ""And she's still moving."""

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently it's called kidnapping"

"I don't get how people still get attacked by sharks. DON'T THEY HEAR THE MUSIC?"