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Joke of the Day

"Change sentence to tense? Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, ""I killed a person"" . Student: The Future tense is ""You will go to a jail"""

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"

"Let's turn this Pizza Hut into a pizza home."

"Tell me your local jokes! Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow? Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!"

"Guy gets into a car wreck with a midget driver Midget steps out of his car, walks over to the other guy with a scowl and states, ""I'm not happy."" Guy responds. ""So which one are you?"""

"911 what is your emergency? Me: ""My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home"" 911: ""stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING"

"""Want to hear a joke about potassium?"" ""Yes"" ""K"""

"What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them. ( ) (v)"

"A guy kept telling his girlfriend not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job...... Did she listen ? Nope..... it went in one ear and out the other"

"Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin? He was tragically malicious."