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Joke of the Day

"How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have to get the guitarist to do it for them."

"A woman walks into a green grocers. She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber. He asks her: ""Whole or sliced?"" She replies: ""I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"""

"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."

"People always freak out when I start playing their kid like a bass. It's like chill, you can play him like a bass too once I finish the song"

"There are so many internet scams right now Send me $19.99 and I will tell you how to avoid them all"

"you say ""sitting in your parents' basement wearing pajamas"" like it's a bad thing"

"Lots of world leaders coming to DC. I hope Obama's Nuclear Summit goes well. Bush's Nucular Monster Truck Rally is a hard act to follow."

"The larger the implants, the more likely she'll be confused by a push/pull door."

"What do you call a retarded five year old chained to a slab with his asshole lubed up? ""Daddy."""

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman says, ""Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""