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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance."

"Q: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? A: They're making headlines!"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off"

"This absolutely killed me when somebody told me this in a lecture last week... What do you do if you come across a Tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."

"I misread a headline today as ""the stealthy face a tax increase"" and thought good luck catching those ninjas, Obama!"

"What does an egg say when he gets turnt? Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation."

"I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit ""ignore caller"" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?"

"Atheists swear they not going to hell just cuz they don't believe in it. nigga I don't believe in having a job but I still go to work"

"Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on !"