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Joke of the Day

"Two hamsters are walking down the street... They come up to a gay bar and one hamster turns to the other and says, ""hey, you wanna get shit faced?"""

"""I got you this for Valentine's Day."" [she opens the box and reveals several People magazines inside] ""I think we should see other people."""

"So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, ""Is this a finished desk?"" and she says, ""No, it's Swedish."" (edited to make more better)"

"Do you want to know a good Jewish wine? Ma, when are we going to Miami?"

"hot singles are in your area, merging together into a plurality, a hot leviathan. the time for chat is over. this is not your area anymore"

"What's your best math/science pick up line?"

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card ...I'd have $0.77 cents."

"Jealous and Funn It's not important to win it's important to make the other Guy loose."

"Jesus sits at his last supper *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *open jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna have to stop you right there"

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Get in the Batmobile Robin."""