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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift! Well tell her to come in I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!"

"Dad can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"

"Imagine William Shatner -Knock knock. -Who's there? - Genghis -Genghis who? -KHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!"

"Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted."

"Every single time I give my heart to a girl... She Brexit."

"[One to tell militant women]: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [Meekly] ^just ^one..."

"Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine."

"8 hrs sleep: So refreshed 6 hrs: Feeling fine 4 hrs: I will rip your head off for a minor transgression 2 hrs: Why is my boss a Minotaur"

"Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that."

"I got fired from my job.. ..for being a pervert I don't understand why, though, I'm always hard at work."