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Joke of the Day
"Sonys network security"
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"Ebenezer Scrooge must have been tripping pretty badly to see all those ghosts He probably popped a Marley"
"Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot. I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can."
"My favorite music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute, tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, ""Is it harder to toot or, to tutor two tooters to toot?"""
"How do they separate the men from the boys in Athens? With a crowbar."
"911 what's the emergency ""Please help, I made too much spaghetti"" Relax sir, we've all been th*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*"
"Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom."
"If I own a gym my employees will be required to intermittently pester you. If you don't like it don't come to Jehovah's Fitness."
"My girlfriend has been crying for hours now after the loss of a child. She takes The Sims very seriously."
"Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily."