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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to see his doctor... He says to the doctor ""Doc, I think I might be a pair of curtains."" The doctor yells ""Pull yourself together!"""

"Numerators can recover the fastest from break-ups. They're always over it."

"Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police? He was under investigation for excessive use of Force"

"What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon"

"I found a TV on the sidewalk in front of a house. The owner had left a note. ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought to myself, ""I can't turn that down!"""

"What do you call bread baked in the south? inbred"

"Reddit's search function"

"Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done."

"I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than ""you're out of batteries"""

"At first I was shocked by how graphic the sex scenes in Rise of the Planet of the Apes was.... Then I realized I was watching Interracial Gangbangs part 7"